Prayers of pain

Paul says in Philippians 4 that when we present our requests to God by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, that the peace of God which is beyond figuring out, will stand in guard of our hearts and minds.

But praying through pain is never easy. Today, I did a graveside service in a part of the cemetery where tombstones were shaped like Mickey Mouse. The casket was not carried by a team of men, but by a young mother.

In moments like these I always find myself praying to God to give me the words to pray, asking to know what to ask for.

In 1989, Northern Israel was hit by terrorists. 29 people in small island died. Steve Stockman was asked to give a prayer on BBC radio less than a week afterward. This is what he prayed:

Lord, we come to the end of another week
Except that it hasn't been just another week
It has been the worst week of our lives
And even worse for some
Lord, help us to be honest, vulnerable, and somehow hopeful in the reflection of our feelings.

Lord, we have been shocked
Shocked by how one tiny second can tear our lives apart
Shocked by how far humanity can fall
Shocked by how callous and painful our actions can be, how low we can stoop.

Lord, we are grieving
Grieving for the loss of lives with so much love and energy still to give
Grieving for the man and woman and child we will never be able to hold again
Grieving that our history is so sad and twisted.

Lord, we are confused
Confused at why this should happen
Confused about how this should happen to the innocent
confused about where You and faith enter into these events.

Lord, we are angry
Angry at why we allowed our family and friends to go shopping
Angry at how evil people could rip our world asunder
Angry that You allowed it to happen.

Lord, we are seeking
Seeking some kind of feeble consolation in the midst of our deluge of tears
Seeking some kind of hope that good might come from evil
Seeking your Spirit, whom Jesus called a Comforter, to whisper into our maddening silence.

Lord, we are squinting for faith
Faith that the majority might have some kind of say in the future
Faith that love will end our hate, good will end our evil, and grace will touch our broken hearts
Faith in a God who is as angry as we are and who is reaching out his hand to us.

Lord, we are remembering
Remembering those who today can no longer be shocked, grieve, be angry, be confused, seek or squint for faith
Remembering that You watched as Your Son, covered in blood, die at the futile whim of injustice
Remembering that His death is the only thing we can grope after in the dark of a week like this.

Lord, we have planted our loved ones deep in the bloody earth of Ireland this week
We have watered them with our tears
Lord, may You allow them to be seeds of love that will grow into our peace.
Lord, remember us.

Amen.